If Only He Knew
by PotterGeek020
Summary: She can't get him out of her head. They have always been able to tell each other everything. Can she tell him her new biggest secret? Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

The rain poured and the sky was heavy with steel clouds. Was it cold or did the dreary atmosphere cause it to feel that way? No one could know for sure. The clouds rumbled as the wind whisked through the crisp air as if taking the thunder along with it. The rain tapped onto the wooden box in front of them; there was no pause between them. The drops slipped down the box silently like tears falling. Puddles formed onto the ground and waited for new rain drops to join them.

A flash of lightening struck through the sky, bursting a stream of light. The sky got brighter, but only for that moment. The trees began to droop, the leaves were pulled and small branches snapped as the wind whipped about. No storm had been more violent. No storm had been more melancholy. The only escape would be to run and hide, but even then the sounds of the thunder and droplets of rain would be piercing and would cause all to shiver at the thought.

The lightening struck again and all wept one last time.

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**A/N:** Okay so this is short, I know, but I really like it and I didn't want to ruin it with the next part. So I plan on this being a very short story, but I have been asked to write something and so this is just a way to please my fans. I wrote this one day when I was really upset so sorry if it gets kind of…how to put it…depressing, but I was really upset and so this just came to mind. I hope you liked it! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay so chapter two, I know it took me long enough.

Chapter Two

She feels like the sun would never shine again. The light has left and she knows it will never come back to shine on her. She does not want it to. She refuses to speak and refuses to stop the tears from falling down her rosy cheeks. Her voice is hoarse and her lips strained from being held tightly. They tried to help her. They tried to tell her it was not her fault, but she knows it is. She knows she caused all of this pain. Not only to herself, but to everyone who knew him. The tears come faster and blur her vision, but she does not care, she does not think she has any right to. She could have stopped everything with one word. Everything could have been stopped with one word.

Looking back, there were only tears of joy, nothing bad ever happened. Everything was perfect. There was laughter and smiles, but times have changed, people grew up, but then again, some were never given the chance.

She hates herself for remembering those times. Happiness is something that should be far from her mind. She knows happiness should be forgotten. No one knows how she feels and no one ever will, but people will pretend. They always do. People think they know; they think they can feel the pain. Do they even know what pain really is? Would they ever know how it feels? Loved ones are lost and people go through hard times, but would they ever know how she feels? Would they ever know how much she would have to put up with for the rest of her life? They think they know, but do they really?

She wiped the tears from her hazel eyes and brushed the hair from her face. She remembered the day where she met him. He had been so cute on the train, but she could tell he barely noticed her, not who she really was. She knew he thought of her as the bushy-haired-know-it-all, and she knew she should just give up on him, but she knew there was something more to him. He seemed different.

She would see him in the hallway and some of her classes. She would smile and her eyes would glisten, but he never noticed. She would talk to him, though, and they did become friends. She knew they would eventually.

She shakes herself out of her thoughts. She has to make herself stop remembering. The memories make it more difficult. She knows she can never have these memories again. She can never be as happy as she was. That shy smile would never again be made. She would never hear him mumble in his awkward way that made her smile. There is nothing she can do about it. She knows she is at fault, but no one else can see it.

Her breathing was becoming difficult as she tried to push everything about him from her mind. She has to keep herself from remembering the past. There is nothing that can help her now and the past just makes everything worse.

A/N: Okay, so tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Could she really get over this? She could not get him out of her mind. She is supposed to be able to forget, but she cannot. She knows she should not be sad. She should be angry and not with him, but with herself. This was all her fault. Everything was her fault. It all could have been avoided, but she was too stubborn; she just had to wait. She knows he would have stayed, but she let him go. It was all her fault.

The day she first met him was a little out of the ordinary for most. There was a trip to a school of magic and a lost toad. She saw him and knew she wanted to see him again. And over the years she fell in love.

She always wore a goofy smile and would sing down the halls and not care who saw her. It was all because of him. She could not get her mind off of this boy. He was perfect in every way. She only worried that he might not feel the same way about her, but she would not ask him. She wanted to be friends first and then she would ask, but only after they were the best of friends.

She would sit with him at lunch everyday and during classes she would pass him notes. He would talk to her more and she would listen to every word as if it were her lifeline. Over the years she could tell he was becoming more comfortable with her. She was becoming more comfortable with him.

They understood each other and were friends with no one else. They did not need anyone else. They did not want to become close to anyone else. They only needed each other.


	4. Chapter 4

The tears came more naturally now and she realized she could not stop the flow of memories along with them. She did not want to stop the memories anymore. She could not fight them. Life was growing worse and worse for her and she knew this would happen. She knew he was more than she deserved. She wished she could have him and even thought that things might work out after all, but her life did not work that way. She always had the things she loved snatched from her. Nothing could stay in her grasp.

At school, the two of them were inseparable. She would not let him go. She could not let him go. They would be best friends and she knew it. She realized, however, that the longer she spent time with him, the more she gained feelings for him. She would talk in the common room with him everyday just to talk to him. She could not live without him. She still did not know if he liked her as much as she liked him, but she still would not ask. She needed to wait. She needed to wait until they were even better friends. She would not be able to survive if he ever rejected her and she could not take the risk. She just kept her thoughts to herself and waited for him.

She began to calm down now and the tears stopped flowing from her eyes. She thought about how wonderful he was. He could not have been more perfect. She remembered how his eyes would glow as she spoke to him, how he was really listening to her whenever she had something to say. No one treated her like that and she knows no one ever will, but she has to face it. He is gone. She messed up and she could not change that now. Nothing could change it.

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_As a few years went by, they became not only friends, but best friends. There was no one else who was closer. They knew everything about each other and knew that both of them needed each other for the rest of their lives._

She loved him. She knew he was the only one she wanted to spend her entire life with. He was perfect. She needed him and she needed to be with him. She knew that he would never hurt her and that she could always count on him. She knew she loved him, but she was afraid to tell him. She did not want to lose her best friend. So, she did not tell him. She would not tell him until she knew for sure he loved her back and so she waited.

Why did she wait? Did she not realize how much it hurt her to see him everyday, but know he was not hers forever? She knew he could have found someone else, but she could not tell him. She did not have the courage to. She waited for him to tell her.


	5. Chapter 5

At graduation everyone looked beautiful, but he looked perfect. She could not take her eyes off of him. He had changed so much throughout the years, but he was still perfect and he was still her best friend. She loved him more than she could love any other person. He possessed her whole heart. She did not know if he knew this, but she would not tell him. She was too afraid of what he would say. She was just too afraid to confess that she has always loved him and that she could love no one else. She told herself she could never lose him. She told herself she would do anything and everything to keep him with her.

That day he came to her. He looked nervous, but he looked straight into her eyes. He asked her a question that day. The question made her feel like she could burst. She can still remember him say it, "_do you love me?"_ Her heart skipped a beat. She needed to tell him, but she was still afraid. She was afraid he did not love her back. She needed to keep him as a friend. She could not lose him.

She lied to her best friend for the first time that day. She thought it was the only way to keep what they had.

He went off and left her the next day. He said that he needed to get away and start a new life. He left without knowing the truth. She could not tell him then, so she decided to tell him when he got back. She waited.

She got word a few days later. He had died from an attack on the inn he was staying in. He died and he never knew the truth. All she could think was, _If only I said yes. If only I had not been so afraid._ She loved him and he would never know.

A/N: okay all done! Finally! I hope everyone likes it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Special shout outs to Ronnie.icklekins.is.red.hot, Nita195, and hpobsessed12. Thanks again!


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